- a tesla model 3 owner from texas has implanted the chip from the car's key in her arm.
- this enables the owner to enter and start her tesla using her, um, built-in key.
- we wouldn't implant anything inside of us, least of all not part of a tesla, but we get that all people are different.
have you ever spoken with someone who owns a tesla? they usually really really like tesla. this next-best-thing-since-sliced-bread camp tends to have an openness to tech and isn't shy about sharing that information with you. so it should come as no surprise that one model 3 owner from dallas, texas, took her tesla love to a new level by implanting the chip from the car's valet key in her arm. you know, so she doesn't have to pull out the credit-card-shaped key and swipe it over the model 3's door to lock or unlock it. see the full process below (trigger warning: may be a bit disturbing for some viewers).
as she explained in an earlier video, this wasn't even a new idea for amie dansby; she already had an rfid implant in her hand for "basic access control" for her front door and to call up her website on her smartphone. still she went through quite a process to get part of her tesla's keyless entry system into her arm. doctors and medical professionals turned her down, wary of the procedure, so she turned to a body-modification artist named "pineapple" to do the insertion. to extract the chip she wanted implanted from the tesla's card-shaped key, she dissolved the whole card in acetone until only the chip was left. after placing the chip in a sort of membrane—similar to a silicone, ahem, implant—it was ready for implantation beneath her skin.
the video makes no mention of how well this works; in our experience, waving that valet key over a tesla's door (specifically, one must rub it against the door pillar) takes several tries and can make you look rather silly. ever been caught at the turnstile in a subway, frantically waving a transit pass to no avail? it's kind of like that, only now, we imagine, dansby spends her time rubbing her forearm against her car like she's buffing the b-pillar. a quick side note: you can also open the model 3 using your phone, no swiping or, um, implantations necessary—unless you count putting a phone in your pocket.
anyway, the intersectionality of tesla ownership and medically implanted devices seems, in hindsight, totally predictable. why hasn't tesla thought of this? you could buy a tesla, revel in its electric whirlygig-ness and the sense of self-satisfaction that comes with all of that, and have a helpful tesla sales associate shoot a chip under your skin before you leave the store. dansby's in favor; she volunteered, via twitter, to head up a tesla "body hacking division."